We Answer Questions

Stuff We Need

2005-10-18T22:17:00.000-07:00

If we ran out of stuff we needed, what would happen?

Either aliens would rescue us, or we would all die

Age

2005-09-11T14:17:00.000-07:00

What is age anyway?

Age is how long someone has failed to provide us with the meaning of life, cure to cancer, and various other things...I for one am disappointed in a lot of people, seriously how hard is it to build a teleporter!

Nudists

2005-08-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

What do you think about nudists?

Well other then my shirt, underwear, pants, hat, sunglasses, socks, and shoes I am completely naked, so they seem cool...

Comedians

2005-08-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

Comedians make fun of everyone else, so who makes fun of them?

Well you see they have a special license for making fun of people, but you can get a license to make fun of them, for 500 bucks. Just paypal the money to me and I'll send you the license in a day or two.

Wise Men

2005-08-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

Why do wise men always live up on hills by themselves?

Because they are cowards hiding from the world. They realize they can't fix the world's problems and go hide. COWARDS!!!

Peace

2005-08-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

Can there ever be peace between eels and crabs?

I've talked to both sides, the eels say they want the crabs to dye themselves green and scream "we want mustard", and the crabs insist that they have no vocal cords to scream with. So the answer is no...I'm afraid some creatures are far too different to ever make peace.

Impulsive Buyer

2005-08-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

I'm an implusive buyer and today I bought a boat, but I live in the desert...what do I do?

It's really quite obvious, buy a laboratory and build an awesome storm making machine, then flood the area where you live, then since you are the only guy with a boat charge people to save their lives and bang you got money and a boat, btw sell your house before turning on the machine.

Peanut Butter

2005-08-06T17:31:00.000-07:00

What does peanut butter taste like?

Well imagine mixing peanuts and butter together, it tastes like the exact opposite of that, and further research shows that it feels much like a toad.

Ruler of the World

2005-08-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

Who really rules the world?

Monkeys banging on typewriters.

Grapes...

2005-08-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

Why are grapes purple?

Because they are full of themselves, they think they are like royalty or something...dumb grapes....ugh...I'm better then them...I tell you I am...I am, really!!!

Rednecks....

2005-08-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

I started dating a girl who I later found out is my cousin, what should I do?

Well if you have no problem with having blue children then go right ahead, otherwise ditch her and buy a ferret.

Too Handsome for GF

2005-08-03T09:41:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend think I'm too handsome for her. What do i do?

Go to a Stationary Supplies Store and buy a pen. Then stab it into her eyes...repeatedly...and problem solved.

Evil Genius

2005-07-30T18:32:00.000-07:00

I'm a young evil genius beginning my journey of taking over the world...and quite frankly I have no idea what to do...can you help me?

If you need my help....you might want to consider a different career choice...how about you start in fast food and work your way up. McDonald's is pretty evil...you should fit right in.

Chicken + Road = Stupid

2005-07-28T10:50:00.000-07:00

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because a nuke was coming and it was looking for cover! I don't freakin know, it's a stupid chicken, it has a brain the size of a peanut it probably doesn't have a reason, it's just freakin crossing the road! Shesh...leave the poor dumb thing alone.

Shot

2005-07-25T20:19:00.000-07:00

I'm a CIA agent on my first mission...I've just been shot what do I do?

What the?! Um...ok I suggust not getting shot again...and putting a band-aide on it.

Advertise

2005-07-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

Can I pay you to advertise something on here?

I just saved no money on my car insuarance by switching to Geico.

5 bucks

2005-07-23T22:56:00.000-07:00

I have a five doaller bill, what should I do with it?

Give it to me.

Gift

2005-07-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

What do you get for the man who has nothing?

Underwear.

Perfect World

2005-07-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

How can we have a perfect world?

First off we need to eliminate the woodchunk's...they secretly put gases in the air to make people violent and evil. Secondly we need to kill anyone who doesn't think the world is already perfect...meaning we are killing you...don't worry it'll be slow and paingful.

Eggs

2005-07-22T15:35:00.000-07:00

I have two eggs what should I do?

Let them hatch hope one is a rooster and the other not and then use those to chickens to reproduce into a thousand more. Then take over the world with your army of chickens...or make an omelet

Anxious

2005-07-22T15:34:00.000-07:00

Generally speaking, what are you most anxious about right now in your life?

Whether to take the red pill or the blue pill

Ugly

2005-07-22T15:33:00.000-07:00

What is the ugliest thing that you've ever seen?

A shaved water buffalo

Ghosts

2005-07-20T22:52:00.000-07:00

Do you think ghosts are real?

They're as real as I am...note to self...check if self is real

History Class in America

2005-07-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

History lessons in America: Do you cover stuff that isn't directly relevant to your country?

Of course. Like how before the US there was nothing

Tan

2005-07-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

How many days of outside tanning for an hour will it take to build up my tan?

The same number as it will take for you to get skin cancer.

ESP

2005-07-20T14:02:00.001-07:00

Have you ever had esp?

I knew you were going to ask that.

Lemons

2005-07-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

What do you do if life hands you lemons?

RETURN TO SENDER

Do not Swim

2005-07-20T14:01:00.000-07:00

What do u do when u fall into a pond that has a sign saying: "Do not swim" ?

Float.

Staring

2005-07-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

Why are you still staring at me?

Because you're the cutest girl I ever did see....oh crap you're a man...must delete....MUST DELETE

Universe

2005-07-20T13:55:00.000-07:00

Did you know that the farthest point in the universe is the back of your head if the universe is a vacuum?

No...wait, I mean yes...um but that doesn't work because I just ate a peanut butter sandwich